dealing with cancer and death

Losing someone

Losing someone you love is devastating and is very personal. Adults and Children deal differently with loss, grief is a process that has no time limits or order, but it is a process that you will have to go through as painful as it will be.

Death and dying

Dealing with a dying person and dealing with death are not easy, health professionals will try to assist you but unless they are trained, it will be difficult for them also. They may be able to identify imminent death as some signs will be present, if you feel scared or anxious please ask a nurse to be with you or a close family member to be present. The actual dying process is different for each person, don't be afraid to keep talking to them, it is believed that the hearing sense is the last to go.You may see death as a release for their suffering, or even be glad. Such feelings are common and you should not feel you have to behave "Normally". It can be very upsetting or very profound but will stay with you forever.

What happens when they die

Their are certain procedures to be carried out after death, this depends wether they die in hospital,hospice or at home. In any case the body must be examined by a doctor to officially certify death has occurred. However, if the patient has died at home and has not been seen by the family GP for over 24 hours it is possible that a post mortem may have to be carried out. If they die in hospital it will require only a doctor to certify death and usually no post mortem is carried out if the disease was known at the time(terminal cancer)of death. If your unsure ask a nurse to explain any procedures to you. You can stay with the deceased( your loved one) for as long as you wish. The nursing staff will seek your permission to dress the body before relocating it to the Morgue.

It can be very upsetting to leave your loved one at this time, you may still view them at any time in the morgue usually by appointment and with a nurse attending. Please be aware that it can be also upsetting seeing them again, so try not go alone if you wish to see them again. The deceased will be collected from the hospital,hospice by the funeral director when all the release paperwork has been completed. If you are having a cremation, two signed certificates from two doctors are required and this may hold up collection.The body will have been prepared to be viewed at a chapel of rest unless religious requirements dictate otherwise

Funerals and families

Arranging a funeral is exhausting, trying to please families is even harder. Different opinions even arguments may make matters worse for you. Ask a close friend or family member to take the strain, funeral directors will also be able to help, they have the experience and have more than likely seen it all before. Also your own faith may require different requirements for dealing with your loved one.

Counselling

It's not for everyone, but confiding in someone you feel you can trust may help and give you support at a vunerable time, maybe a counsellor or a close friend. Some men find it hard to deal with because they feel the need to cope with death in a manly way, not so the loss of someone you love which has a profound effect on all, regardless of gender!

Lost and alone

Caring for a loved one can be incredibly draining and can cause problems with your mental and physical well- being. All the medical attention tended to focus on the patient and not the carer, so if the patient dies and your role as carer is abruptly ended who can you turn to? That's why we are here, we can't make it better for you, but we can listen and support you and share your experience and feelings with you.

Legal duties
	Register a Death You have only 5 days to register a death in England
	Post Mortem This can hold up a burial and can add to the trauma

Arranging a funeral
	Lancashire services We cannot endorse any particular funeral services
	Making arrangements Burial or Cremation services? ensure you use a certified funeral director