Easy to say if your not involved with the death of your loved one, its very personal to carers, so don't expect others to have all the answers. Life after death?and will we ever know.
Death and Dying
As carers our final journey with our loved one who is dying can be very profound. Although such a trauma cannot be imagined unless you have experienced it personally, it is a journey that we must take with our loved one. For them it is nearly over but for us its just beginning.
Their are no books, no testaments about what really happens and when! Nursing staff may help with managing the situation, but for us its is very emotional and upsetting time. We are unprepared for the final act of living yet, we can cope with it, knowing some of the facts before hand.
We that have experienced it before and now look back on it, yes with sadness but with a profound insight into life itself. How you deal with it will affect your life forever. Our real wish is sometimes to die at home, NHS services are working towards thier final choice, but presently most deaths occur in hospital which are not ideal places in which to deal with the emotional side of our loved one dying.
Some believe we start our grieving process long before death itself, try to talk to each other but also try not to( We know its hard) cry in front of them, remember we will have all the time in the world to grieve.
Spritual Sensations
As we have mentioned before we may turn to our spiritual belieifs in times of greatist need, and in doing so start to acknowledge what is happening before us. If you are with your loved one when they die this can be a special moment. If on the other hand you cannot be there, you may feel as if you have let them down in some way. We cannot speak for them, but try not to feel that in some way by not being with them means blaim! Yes we have all said" I should of told them I loved them " or "I should have done more" when you have cared for someone for a long time I'm sure you will have said many things to them at many times already.
How we deal with our loss varies greatly. We may feel relived that there suffering is over, we may take a holiday or we may just feel so lonely, grief stricken and confused at what has just happened.
Please remember each member of the family will feel differently, children who have lost mum or dad will grieve for that loss, you may have lost a life long partner, the process of grieving can be endless for some.
We sometimes feel them around us after their death, and talk to them, their is nothing wrong with either of these feelings.
Death the final journey?
