It would be almost impossible to acknowledge all aspects of religious teaching but we do recognise that we may see certain methods odd to us, but death itself is as normal as life it. A Muslin, a Jew a Cristian or a non believer will still feel the pain of loss, on this page we hope you will find some help or comfort for your loss.
"First of all, we should realise that death is truly part of life and that it is neither would not bad
in itself" Dalai Lama
We all have our own beliefs in how our loss affects us. Whatever religion you subscribe to Death is part of Life but dealing with the loss of a son/daughter,mother or father or just a friend affects the very part of us we fear most. How we cope after the death cannot be understood unless you have personally experienced it for yourself.
Emptiness, Loneliness, Anger, Afraid, Physically Sick and many, many more feelings that couldn't be written here. These emotions are very raw and can last a lifetime, how we deal with death and loss is a process, not a written one but one of a journey which has no titles or order and no time limits. Our friends don't know how to talk to us, our family are themselves dealing with the loss, we get cards but in all honesty we don't know what is right to say and what is not.
We may take solice in our religious beliefs or just accept death and get on with life, its different for all of us. But whatever way it may be, some of us have had this experience and are willing to support you and share our compassion so that some healing can take place.
"Muslims accept death as part of life believing that death is an
essential part of surrendership to Allah Ta'ala. Allah Ta'ala is the
Arabic word for God, the Creator. It is God, who gives life and He who
dictates when it is time for a life to end."
Their are many explanations about death and what happens afterwards. But how we deal with the burial or cremation of our loved one is vitally important as we don't get second chances, and whatever you do will be remembered for a life time. We can't advise you what or how to carry out this final act, but seek advise from friends and family and professional people on the practical aspects, but rely on your own judgement in any way. Remember to find out if the one who has died has left a will stating how they wish to be buried. Getting together afterwards shouldn't be a somber affair, remember you are celebrating their life, it will be hard, but a chance to express feelings to others who knew them.
QUESTIONS:
"How long will my grief last?"
No one has the answer, it will last as long as it takes to get over the worst of loosing someone
"I can't bury or cremate the one I love so much"
Its a painful time, loosing someone and never seeing them again, and then to bury or cremate them seems so final, Love will live on forever.
"Why does nobody understand how I feel?"
It maybe because they don't understand how you feel themselves. Its very personal to us, it makes us angry, find someone to talk to who will just listen.
"I am not religious so its ok for me"
We all deal with Death differently, wether we believe or not the loss is still the same.
"What do I tell my children?"
Telling children is very hard, you can seek special help, or talk to them so they will understand information for their age, also their relationship with the one who has died. If they have lost a parent they might assume daddy or mummy is still coming back
"I feel like its over for me?"
These feelings are very normal, allowing your grief to run its course will in the long run be helpful. Try to remember the happy times, it is hard, but ignoring your own feelings isn't good for you, cry when you want and for ever how long you want. Talk about them as much as you wish, don't be put of with comments such as "you will get over it"! you may never, but our carers have said it gets easier as time goes on.
Please don't feel as if you are alone, seek help if you can't cope, counselling services such as Cruse or local bereavement services maybe able to help you or just call us.
"Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment".
Spiritual Matters
